|
THE T.A.
So what has the Territorial Army got
to do with fostering?
Well whilst I am sure they do a good
job and might have some links somewhere,
in fact I am not talking about the Army
but about Transactional Analysis.
Transactional Analysis or TA is a theory
which helps explain how we relate to
ourselves, to others and to the world
through our thoughts feelings and behaviours.
As well as helping us to understand our
own personalities and how we communicate,
it also provides a model of child development.
As such it can, when used correctly,
be used as a method to bring about personal
growth and change.
Sadly in the 1960s and ‘70s TA
got a bad name as a somewhat lightweight “pop
psychology”. This I feel has been
an undeserved tag that has proved hard
to shake off.
As an ex worker in a therapeutic community
for young people experiencing mental
health problems I can personally testify
to the life affirming results that I
have witnessed through the use of TA
in groups and through one to one work.
In fact we used to teach it as a base
theory to both residents and staff so
that we could have a common frame of
reference for the whole community to
disentangle the conflicts and often complicated
transactions which inevitably took place.
Whilst I can’t introduce you to
all of the theory here, let me tell you
about some of the key bits:
Central to TA is the ego state model
of personality. This divides us up into
three bits: Parent, Adult and Child.
At times we borrow behaviour, thoughts
and feelings from parents or parent figures
and bring them into the here and now.
Thus we find we are in Parent ego state.
Likewise we might return to ways of thinking,
feeling and behaving we used as children.
Thus we are in Child ego state. If I
am behaving, thinking and feeling in
response to the here and now I am in
my Adult ego state.
That’s not to say that either
Parent or Child ego states are bad or
harmful and only Adult is good.
The idea is to get us to understand
what is useful and what is not so useful
and hopefully to raise our awareness
of our learnt and adapted thoughts, feelings
and behaviour so that we have choices.
Probably one of the most popular and
commonly used bits is the idea of “games
theory”. If you listen to Eastenders
you will hear the accusation of “you
are playing a game” flung about
with regularity. A game is basically
a repeated pattern of behaviour which
ends up with familiar and often uncomfortable
outcomes. To call this compulsion to
repeat “a game” makes light
of the very real pain involved when the
game is played without us being aware
we are doing it.
So why would we compulsively repeat
damaging patterns?
TA suggests that as children we effectively
write our own life story with a beginning,
middle and an end. Based on the amount
of good parenting/nurturing we have had
this can either be constructive or might
be downright self destructive. Again
the idea is that the Life story or script
slips out of awareness, nevertheless
as adults we live it out faithfully and
set up our lives to bring about decisions
we made early in child hood. When we
uncover this script we can if we want
begin to re-decide how our own story
goes.
Well, using my Adult I can see that
that is enough for now. My aim is only
to introduce the subject and perhaps
encourage further learning. There are
lots of publications out there; some
of the titles are “TA for Kids
(and adults too)”, “TA Today”, “Transactional
Counselling”, look them up on the
net or in the library. (My Parent ego
state speaking?)
Just before I go, though, a word of
caution: TA is only a theory, it is not
the whole truth. At its worst it can
be used to judge or pigeon hole others.
As Jung said “Learn your theories
well but forget them when faced with
the miracle of another living person”.
Mark Breeze |
